Holiday after exams....

This holiday, i can't get to go back to JB because of my stupid internship (i haven't get any job yet). Miss my baobei much. How are you? Must be very tired due to the "promotion" by your company. Haha. Anyway, must always take care of yourself ok? It is not easy but i believe you can do it well. Give you a MUAKZ.... haha.. I love you much much ya.. haha...

Results are releasing soon. I really worry about my results.. 2 of the subjects i feel that i quite confidence.. But the other 2?? I really dislike my lecturer.. How come they are paid to teach us but they can't even do their job nicely? As i said, the results depends on us. Did we work hard for it? I can say yes. Everyone is working so hard, trying to memorise everything we "learn" from them. No past years, no exercises with full solutions. The lecture slides are nothing but.... (BALA) Should we still blame ourselves?? I don't think so. Some of my classmates cried after the paper. Most of the top students said that the paper is hard.. No one can finish the paper in time nicely. There's 6 to 7 questions. 3 hours paper. We used 1 hour to do the 1st question. What about the others?? We were so nervous. My hands shake.. I can't even erase the thing i wrote on my paper nicely. To those who don't understand, you guys will definitely says that we didn't work harder for it.. Sad..

I really hope all of us can pass every subjects with flying colours.. We tried our best. And is really our best.. I will pass this to 老天 (god).. Please let us pass.. We need to pass to further our studies.. (haha.. over ) No one wants to see Dr Kannan and Dr Bala for the same subjects again. Just hope everything goes well..

For my internship?? Lazy already. Applied so many companies but i can't get an answer i want. Anyway, this is small matter so.. haha...

All the best to everyone in my class. 3rd year 2nd sem and 3rd year 1st sem students... Pray hard.. Enjoy the holiday as well.. Good luck guys.. See you guys soon..

Happy birthday to My DEAREST baobei and DEAREST mummy...

My baobei and mummy born in different year but same date.. 8th of october.. Wah.. Such a coincidence..

To mummy,
Hope mummy can stay happy forever and also be healthy.. Not young le. haha.. I will always love you ya. Although sometimes i might make you worry but i promise i will always take good care of myself ok? Don't worry me too much. (I know you won't) haha... Really hope i would able to take care of you after you retire and Harng who is going to further his studies.. (Don't know how much will the school fees increase in another 5 years? 10 years?Haha)

To baobei,
I know baobei always worry about our future. Especially when those bad things happen, many negative thinking shoot up into your mind. Don't worry too much too ya. Just try our best to maintain our relationship. We will definitely see bright light in front of us. haha. (not going to die ya) Thanks for the everything you did to me, I will try my best to treat baobei well, take care of you, love you and etc... Because i won't want to let baobei down again and again anymore..
Wish baobei have a wonderful day and also be happy and stay healthy. The difference between baobei and mummy is that baobei is younger. haha. Don't always say you old la. Haiyo.. Slim your body down and go style your hair. You will definitely look younger. Wish baobei can get what she wants too. I love baobei o. Really love baobei much much. Must always take care of yourself ok? Don't make me worry for you for nothing. Haha..

Although i wrote longer for baobei than mummy but both of them are the most important people in my life.. (plus papa and harng). Hope everything will go smoothly in the future and....

I LOVE YOU, mummy

I LOVE YOU, baobei

by mummy's son and baobei's baobei

“心”

在爱情的世界里。。真的需要两个人的默契，忍让，包容等等才能维持下去。。

两个人一定要有一起努力，朝着同一个目标前进的心才能到最后。。。

我和你。。有着一样的心吗？？

回忆。。

回忆是美好的。。


不管他有多坏，一旦熬过去了。。你就会觉得这些痛苦的回忆真的没什么。。


会这样说是因为宝贝的记忆力太差了。哈哈。。差到连我都甘拜下风了。。


经历了很多事。。愉快的也好。。伤心的也好。。心痛到骨子里的也好。。就是因为有了这些回忆才造就了现在的我。。我的个性是，我都会去注意每一个小小细节。。因为终是觉得人生有太多道理了。。如果不是自己踏进去，我想。。我到现在还会是一个只会发脾气，只会跟着自己的心里面走的孩子。。就是因为有了这些回忆。。慢慢的变得比较控制自己的情绪。。虽然还没有作得很好。。不过宝贝啊。。你应该看得出我的改变吧。。就是因为有了这些回忆，宝贝现在才能跟我比较好相处吧。。


就算现在还是会和我最爱的宝贝吵架，但很奇怪的是，我还蛮享受的。。哈哈。。因为和宝贝说了很多不一样的话，所以我更珍惜能和宝贝吵架的日子。。因为有你，我的人生就变得很不一样了。。虽然我们都不喜欢吵架，可是你不觉得每吵一次，我们的感情就加深了吗？


曾经有人说过我们是因为习惯而维持到现在的。。真的是这样吗？？应该不是吧。。我们吵了这么多，说了这么多话。。难道是因为想找人聊天而维持到现在吗？？就是因为在乎所以才吵架，就是因为在乎所以我们不停的聊天不停地说话。。这和习惯有关联了吗？？（就是觉得我和你的缘分。。牵连得太惊人了吧。）哈哈。。


我们两个的想法差异落差真的很大。。就因为你是固定宫而我是变动宫吗？？但为什么我们到现在还在一起呢？？是有点奇怪啦。。性格不合，不是应该分手了吗？？为什么到现在还能在一起呢？简单的说。。就是因为我们不管遇到什么挫折，我们还是很用心地去经营这段辛苦的旅程。。我们都相信，只要双方都愿意付出，什么是做不到的呢？也就因为心里面的信任和爱，我们才有办法维持到现在吧。而这些信任和爱。。却不是一两天就能做得到的。。


差不多有5年的感情了。经历了太多，慢慢慢慢建立了彼此之间的信任与爱。。也就是经历了太多，回忆也不断涌上心里。这些是旁人无法理解也没有办法去理解的。。这是只有我们两个人才知道的回忆，真相。。


尝试去体会发生过的每一件事。。这样的人生才算精彩吧。。。


我还要和宝贝制造很多很多美好的回忆。。（掺杂了一点不好的回忆也没关系）因为。。这是属于我们两的回忆。哈哈。。


我爱你宝贝。。。也谢谢你体谅了我很多。。

This is from baobei when we went to CC.. while i playing game, u online-ing

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peiling says (9:51 PM):
i love baobei o..

Peiling says (9:51 PM):
although u r juz bside

Peiling says (9:51 PM):
i still miss baobei

Peiling says (9:52 PM):
haha

Peiling says (9:52 PM):
thx for everything that u hv did for us

Peiling says (9:52 PM):
i wil treasure all these..

Peiling says (9:52 PM):
i dun1 juz be fren wif u..

Peiling says (9:52 PM):
so muz add oil lo

Peiling says (9:52 PM):
muakz

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

So touch to read it again.. i copy paste when i went home.. haha.. what baobei say really makes me feel touch.. i don't want to leave you anymore.. No matter what happen in the future.. Maybe we will keep on quarrel on something that will be very very small.. but i will always love baobei... My care and love to you will either maintain the same or getting more and more de... I know and understand my feels... Muakz..

Wish we can live together forever... Now i start to feel that my life is not enough for me.. Because i really wish we can stay together for unlimited time period.. Must addoil lo.. HUGXn....

失去了才会后悔吗？？？

什么叫做后悔？？失去了一样东西就一定会后悔吗？？不能是伤心吗？？难道伤心=后悔？？

当我失去宝贝的时候。。我的确很难过。。可是我并没有很后悔我做过什么让宝贝抛下我。。想来有想去。。还是想不通。。对我来说。。虽然我对这段感情，看似没有放在心上。。可是在内心深处，我知道我当时是很爱宝贝的。。有时无心的说错话，做错事，难道就得判人家死刑吗？
当然。。我知道有时我真的很大意。。所以就算当时我哭得死去活来，我都没有什么后悔的感觉。。想把宝贝追回来的心是不是因为“不甘愿”呢？？应该不是吧。。要不然我哪会那么潇洒的让宝贝做自己想要做的决定呢？？还记得我一直告诉一些人。。“我只想尽全力把他追回来。。如果追不回，我也不会留下遗憾。。至少我有尽力了”。。如果当时宝贝没有接受我，我想。。。我也应该能放得下吧。。

现在的我很幸福。。宝贝回到了我的身边。。虽然还是会像当时一样吵架斗嘴，可是我已经变了。。变得怎样？？我也不是很清楚。。只听到宝贝说我变了。哈哈。。（她有说是好事噢）
如果要我说，我觉得我没变。。性格上还是一样的。。大男人主义。哈哈。总是觉得自己说的都是对的。。不过，难道我说错什么了吗？？应该说是每个人都有不一样的想法。。做的事都不一样。。天觉得你的方法是最对的并不代表明白你的人，听懂你的人也会觉得那是最对的方法。

最近看到朋友为了“前”女友而那么难过。。虽然很多人都说他是不甘愿。可是他就是一直否认。。开始的时候，根本没有后悔的迹象。直到有一天，这个女生遇到了很好的男孩子。。他后悔了。。后悔当初冷落了这个对她来说是个完美的女人。。（好象都没有关联的）哈哈。。

只想说。。不要后悔。。往前看吧。。如果有缘，她一定会跑回来的。。好好的过自己的生活，让自己在人生中没有任何遗憾吧。。这样做，至少在他心里，你会是一个不错的男生吧。（面子）哈哈。。

（有点无聊。。写这些干吗？？哈哈）

Talk about my mummy...

Haha.. How to start? This few days have some argument with baobei.. But so weird.. I enjoyed everyone moment talking to baobei even we are arguing..haha..

Do baobei knows that i nearly cried when i hear your voice?? No right? haha.. Cause i didn't tell you.. Actually i forgotten also.haha.. But that time really miss baobei very very much.. Sometimes feels that you are so busy till forget me le.. DID YOU??

Oh ya.. About my mummy.. Haha.. Due to the contents of our argumentation, i suddenly think of my mummy.. Because you always say libra attitudes similiar compare with other libra (means different person). haha. especially same birthday de ( i add myself de. haha). So automatically, i think of mummy.. The more i think the more i feel that you doesn't look like mummy.. If let say libras' are the same but you and my mummy are different... It will be only a reason for this.. Because mummy been through really alot alot alot alot of things which i will cry when i think.. How she suffered from everything.. And because of this, I am here right now writting the blog..

My mummy been through alot.. She was from a very poor family.. 13 siblings and father mother sleep in something like living room.. Since they are poor yet have to feed 15 people. I can't imagine how my grandfather and grandmother work things out.. haha... Anyway, they are luckily.. So is my mum.. She got into university.. At that time.. university not bad right? haha..
From there, get to know my papa and fall in love and get married.. (sounds wonderful)

I am the eldest children in the family but i have a sister before that who died because of some disease which is... is... leukimia?? anyway.. is something 血癌. I have no idea and i can't remember about this sister until i was at least 7 to 8 years old.. I think... As i am a very "emotional" person.. i start to imagine about it.. Imagine that i am mummy and daddy.. How are they suppose to do live without her?? (shit.. start to cry..wuwuwu) If me, i will feel that i might as well follow her to heaven.. I can't imagine how sad they were that time. Although this had happen, they stil have me.. After giving birth to me, no more "son or daugther" for them le. I became the only child at the house.. How will be my life if i have a sister now??

Time passed... The relationship between mummy and papa became not as good as we think.. In the end, they divorced.. Another sad thing happened to mummy... That time the only one she has is me.. I still can remember the way she cried in front of me. And i always remember wat i said to her " I will help you wash clothes and sweep floor and also clean the windows"... This is the promises from a 6 years old boy?? And i am now 22 years old.. Time passed again...

Mummy get married again with uncle and this is where my little brother came into my life when i was standard 6. Although uncle is not my father but i really sayang my little brother. He is lion. According to baobei, lion (horoscope) very stubborn.. always think that they are right. always do whatever they want without thinking about other people's feel.. That's why i will quarrel or fight with my little brother. haha. Although we did quarrel, but we always miss each other very much.. (now i don't think so le.. he grown up.. won't miss me that much ) haha. I think mummy will feel happy to see that both of us are so close now.. She feels grateful about it i think..

Her relationship with uncle also not bad.. Although uncle is a very stubborn person.. and some sad things happened to mummy ( mummy say de. not me.. haha).. But i think 3 of them can live happily in the future ( not include me because i at KL study now)..haha..

Mummy feels happy to have me and my little brother in her life ba.. I am such a good son.. Although i might not listen to her words sometimes like "come back early".haha... but overall i am still a good son to her...

I feel that mummy appear to be the one of the best thing i met in my life.. I will always love you mummy.. (happy mother's day?? hahaha)

(END OF THE STORY ABOUT MUMMY)

Baobei a.. you read this.. will you feel how i feel now?? I always want to be like mummy.. OUTSIDE LOOKS STRONG.. INSIDE ALSO STRONG.. This is why i become me now.. Mummy teach me how to forget about sad things.. Accept sad things.. How to see things clearly.. This is why i can't bear some sad stuff but i still can smile in front of people.. (my level not very high yet.. so i can only do abit bit only. mummy level higher)haha..

I wish baobei can be like mummy.. Strong in such a way that try to be happy.. See things clearly.. What is the best way what is the lousiest way to solve any kind of problems. This is why i always stand middle(which actually is not a good thing la. that's why i say mummy level higher. haha) to see things.. Now i know.. Sometimes i should side baobei also.. Cause we will live together for the rest of our time right?? agree?? I love you.. I won't let you experience what mummy experience de... promise...

take care o.. MUAKZZZZZZ

求婚大作战。。

这是一部很好看的戏。。为什么呢？？我也不知道。。带点幼稚却又包含了很多意义的戏。。

被男女主角给吸引了。。在不知不觉的情况下被吸引了。很感人。。。

看着男主角留下了男人泪，自己的眼泪也忍不住了。。为何呢？可能我已经上瘾了。哈哈。。
（我好象也为了类似的事留了男人泪吧）

女主角的可爱与美丽的结合让我印象深刻。。觉得好完美哦。。

整套戏配上经典的歌。真的很好看好听。。

就像宝贝说的。偶尔要看看戏，从中反而能让自己找回最纯真的感动。。

被戏里的每一个情节给牵引着。。无法自拔的爱上这部戏。。也开始很怀念以前所发生的一切。。

后悔了。。还能从来吗？现实生活里是不可能的。。
如果总是看着过去而忘记还有现在和未来，将来会更加遗憾吧。

其实也不知道为何有那么多感触。。。有很多话想说却又好像没话说。。
虽然结局是好的但我并没有很开心。。哈哈。。。

（真的上瘾了。。）

有机会宝贝一定要看看这部戏哦。。可能宝贝并不会像我那样感触良多。。可是还是很希望能和你分享。。。爱情，亲情，友情兼具的戏。。。

爱你哦宝贝。。

Same thing happened again...

宝贝啊。。哈哈。。我们又为了同一件事又起了一点“冲突”。。虽然对我来说并没有什么。。但我看你这样，我觉得只要一提起这件事，你就会有少少的难过吧。毕竟曾经拥有过这段“情”。

有时候只是要你换个角度去想。。当这发生在你身边的好朋友身上时，难免会激动吧。。（只是想为他报不平，替他说话而已。毕竟他做的都是因为我）所以当这发生在我身上时，宝贝不是为我挺身而出吗？？这是一件让我很感动的事。

不想说得太多。因为知道宝贝不希望我说得太多。想说的昨晚都说了。。

也对不起，我说话有时很直接。。但却是我心里的话。。我一定要改掉这种幼稚的说话方式。。一定要。。其实我也很不喜欢这样口无遮拦。这只会让我觉得，哈哈。。该长大一点了。。再说出那种没有智慧，没有建设性的话真的不是我要的。。

我想要成熟一点。长大了。。都22岁了。。如果再不改改自己的说话方式，这些日子以来就算是在嘲笑着自己吧。可笑。。哈哈。。

谢谢宝贝。。虽然其他事让我觉得很懊恼，但挺身而出的那个举动。。我有爽到。。哈哈。。
我答应宝贝不会让自己受伤的，好吗？不过我也想说，我不会让我的宝贝和好朋友受伤的。。因为这些都是我的宝物。。少了一个都不行。。哈哈。。

爱死你们了。。看到你们的笑容是我最快乐的事了。

朋友。。。

什么是朋友？

经过了这么多事，我才发现到原来朋友是很脆弱的。。
朋友的责任就是
1）在你最需要人陪你时，他会在你身边。
2）在你开心时，他会替你高兴。
3）在你难过时，他会无怨无悔的陪在你身边安慰你，鼓励你。
（etc etc etc...）

当单纯的友情慢慢升华至半友情，半爱情时，所有的“责任”就会因此而改变。
在这半友情，半爱情里，可以是两情相悦，或是孤独作战。。
如果是两情相悦，通常头会有不错的结局。。（当然得看看当事者的发展了）
如果是孤独作战。。。。

（我还真不懂要怎样写）

我觉得我很失败。。我让宝贝难过了。。
对不起，我不应该对“他”说出那些话。
对我来说，我的那些话让他不再把你当朋友了。
看到你失去一个能够谈得来的朋友，我真的觉得很难过。。

对不起，我真的看不惯。。刚刚和你聊了。。我相信你也明白为什么我会那么不开心。
所以。。我不说了。。

就是觉得很可惜。。

我爱宝贝。。哈哈。。。

After exam...

Came back from KL the day after exam.. Is abit rush but because i want to see my baobei.. That's why, i told my dad i want to come back because my girl friend off on saturday. I did tell him that o.. What a brave child. haha...

On the same day, i saw baobei.. She looks tired, no energy, is like older and older. haha... It means that she is facing so many problems, such as her work and her studies. Pity her.. Hope can give her my supports. On the same day, I was shocked. Why? Because of the story she told me... One stupid guy cheated her from west to east, just to make her angry... And the guy is... Everyone knows right? ( I mean my close friends )

What a nice guy.. Whatever he said to me, is like shit. Is he a man? I don't know.. Those who break his or her promise is like shit.. But no matter what, i am impress that he did something which i know that i won't do it to my baobei.

Shout in front of everyone and says " I LOVE YOU" to my baobei ..

Power.. I can't describe it. But from my baobei, she said that she was very angry.. And had stated clearly to HIM. And this guy, promised me not to make her angry.. But what did he do???? I just want to ask him, is he a guy?? Is he a guy which always follow his promises or always breaks his promises?? This happens more than once...

I was so angry.. Part of it, i angry of myself because i know i can't do what he did to her. I am very sure that everyone will feel touch for it IF this happen at the right time, right place and right person.. The other part of it is.. i thought that those who comes to the society to work should be very mature in most of the things.. especially for guys.. But what did this guy do?

有些人，不管做了什么都是死性不改。说了再多看似成熟的话，到头来。。做的却是小孩子做的事。一次又一次的做了那么多伤害他人的事，我还真的是很佩服这种人。
说了这么多，我只是想保护我的宝贝，不让一些有的没的的家伙来纠缠着她。

请“你”为自己的所作所为想一想好吗？？
如果做不到，就不要再答应人了。。如果做不到，就不要再答应我说你会成全我们。（虽然有没有你的祝福都一样。。）不要让那么多人瞧不起你好吗？？可能对你来说，我也没有资格说你的不是，那就不要跟我的宝贝告状可以吗？？就当作我在写别人而不是你，不要对号入座。。你有你的人生。。那就不要破坏别人的人生好吗？？

每个人都有自己的责任。。当你是个孩子时，你就一定要孝顺父母。。当你是个学生时，你就一定要把书给念好。。当你是个上司时，你就要以身作则把公司管理得妥妥当当。当你是个员工时，就要尽全力为公司打拼。。不要因为觉得工钱少就懒懒散散的。。当你是别人的情人时，就要在他身边陪伴着她。。当你是他人的朋友时，你就要懂得鼓励对方，给与大大的支持。。而不是在对方后面刺上一刀，而且请不要，不要泼冷水。这只会让自己在对方心里大大减分。

这样子的人怎样给与他人幸福呢？
计较那么多，人生就不会那么精彩了。。自己的路自己走出来。。请不要把已经铺好的路给改了。这是多么愚蠢的事。。（比喻不是很好，暂时想不起来。哈哈）只希望每个人都把握现在拥有的东西，不要等到失去了再来后悔。。。

Thanks to those who concern us..

I wrote that on the previous post was to show that how i feel at that moment. It doesn't really affect my love to her. Even now we still keep quarrelling, but i never want to give up. Those words i said on the previous post was when i was not in the mood. I don't want to delete that post because i think it tells alot about me. And baobei can read it everytime she wants. I might be selfish to write down everything but is all what i feel at that moment.

Thanks for giving comment. We will try our best and fight against what "you" said. let's see what will the future be...

what a day??

What should i say? I love you that's why i asked you. Can't you feel it? I want to go. Can't you feel it? Who are you to stop me for going there? You have your own freedom so do i. I allowed you to go out with your friend for whole day. Why can't you let me go out for just 2 hours?

I know you feel down. That's why i say you can always call me if you want to. Did you call? No.. i was the one keep calling until i gave up as no one answer the phone. Only when you called me. I tried to talk to you. Did you talk? I ask you to talk and you said " i have nothing to say" What the hell. Since you have nothing to say. Of course hang up the phone la. What you expect me to do? I gave you time to talk. did i?

You went out whole day. I didn't get ur sms for that moment that i need you. until i slept. Did you sms? And did i blame you? NO.. Because i know you and your friend were outside. Is like gathering. Do you think as a boy friend, i should stop you for seeing them? NO. Because you are my girl friend. I can't control you as you will definitely feel sad if i say NO to you. Furthermore, you seldom see them. That's why i have no right. NO right to say NO to you. Same as my situation, did you know that i have not go out with Foo at least 1 month? AT LEAST. And we just wish to go out just for that 2hours.

I didn't sms you, is my fault. But every time you didn't sms me back. Did i angry with you? I really don't understand. Why every time same thing happens but in the end you are the one angry with me. And me? I really can't bear to angry with you.. I will always tell myself that you have your own things to do. You are busy working. You are studying. BUT Why can't you give yourself some reasons? Even if you really busy and really can't talk to me, did i really blame you? You will definitely say that because your work is important. That's why i have no right to blame you. What about my time? means when i go cc or play game, my time is not important is it? I am trying my best to sms you although i was playing game, can't you see? and i always thought that you will understand that guys are always like that. Even i didn't sms you on the spot, but after game, i will sure sms you. Not enough?

I love you that's why i don't wish to give too much complain about that. I know once i complain, you will feel stress and maybe not happy. Please... Please think for me can? I have so many problems. My studies and also my family.. I told you i will try my best to be a good boy friend. And i really wish to be with you forever. But i really need some freedom. I really need to spend sometime on myself.. I already used up most of my time in my studies. I really wish i can relax myself. I wish to find back the happiness i lost long time ago. Maybe i can't find back anymore as when i grown up, problems will always come to me. But i really wish that sometimes i can be a small kid. Do whatever i want. Go out with all my friends. And also accompany you for the entire life. This is also what i wish you can do it. I know.. The time for you to accompany me is very little. I know you always say that it won't be enough eventhough is forever.

I don't know what should i say already. It really depends on how you think, baobei. If you think that by saying all those words that can hurt me will let feel better. Just say it to me. I will try to accept it. But when that time i accept everything, i won't be me anymore..

I say all these just to want you to think it deeply. When the same thing happened on me happen to you, how will you feel? will you still feel ok that you won't see your girl's friend anymore? If you really fine with it then i will try to stop myself by going to cc even though i feel that i am free or wish to release my stress. IF you don't want me to go out with who, just tell me. I will try my best not to go out with them. Is it fine with you?

Take care baobei.. If one day you really feel that i am not the one you can really love, please let me go. I don't want you to feel suffer when you are with me. i want a happy baobei that can always be happy and smile. Won't get angry with small matters as in my ideal life, I don't want to see baobei angry. That's why you seldom see me angry..

That' all for today. I am tired. I still have alot to write but.. i prefer to chat with you. I love you.. Chat with you some other time la..

给宝贝的歌。。

炎亚纶 刘力扬- tiamo

虽然是简单的形容
虽然是重复的动作
因为有你
让一切都变成不平凡

好想缝合你我手心
就这样牵着分不开
有你陪伴
呼吸着有你的空气
就是幸福

ti amo te quiero
每一天都要爱上你
想着你沉入梦境
一张眼一清醒
第一个想到又是你

sa la he and i love you
我每天都要爱上你
少一天就会遗憾
陪着你的光阴
怎样都不算蹉跎

好想缝合你我手心
就这样牵着分不开
有你陪伴
呼吸着有你的空气
就是幸福

ti amo te quiero
每一天都要爱上你
想着你沉入梦境
一张眼一清醒
第一个想到又是你
sa la he and i love you
我每天都要爱上你
少一天就会遗憾
陪着你的光阴
怎样都不算蹉跎
陪着你的光阴
永远都觉得不够

会呼吸的痛

梁静茹-会呼吸的痛

在东京铁塔第一次眺望
看灯火模仿坠落的星光
我终於到达但却更悲伤
一个人完成我们的梦想

你总说时间还很多
你可以等我
以前我不懂得
未必明天就有以后

想念是会呼吸的痛
它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛
看你的信会痛
连沉默也痛

遗憾是会呼吸的痛
它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛
恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛

没看你脸上张扬过哀伤
那是种多么寂寞的倔强
你拆了城墙让我去流浪
在原地等我把自己捆绑

你没说你也会软弱需要依赖我
我就装不晓得
自由移动
自我地过

想念是会呼吸的痛
它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛
看你的信会痛
连沉默也痛

遗憾是会呼吸的痛
它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛
恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛

我发誓不再说谎了
多爱你就会抱你多紧的
我的微笑都假了
灵魂像飘浮着
你在就好了

我发誓不让你等候陪你做想做的无论什么
我越来越像贝壳
怕心被人触碰
你回来那就好了
能重来那就好了

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

这首歌跟我的心情没有关系。纯粹就是很喜欢这首歌。感受它的意境就会发现到。。原来。。当你觉得痛时，不管在做什么，心还是会很痛很痛。。所以，我一定要做到最好，不再让宝贝难过。希望我能做到。。爱你哦宝贝。。

现在才知道。。

现在才知道。。原来我不能随心所欲的说出所有的事。我还以为我有个地方让我靠，让我倾诉。但这些都好像错了。原来不管发生什么事，到最后还是得靠双方去处理与面对的。有些心里的心事更是应该交给自己的“心”去解决。

现在才知道。。自从发现到当我所得到的“依靠”能让我百分百依靠时，我就不再隐藏心里的所有想法。可是，渐渐才发现到。。原来所谓的依靠，并没有那么让人依靠。反倒才了解到，不管靠了多少人，问题终究还是会回到自己。

现在才知道。。我必须靠自己了。可能还能靠在你身边但。。我想。。为了不让你再觉得不开心，我想我应该把不高兴放在心里，让我收拾好再一个人把它带走。然后再用开心的心情对你微笑。 （放心好了。我还是会依靠你的。因为我知道你也会依靠我吧？？所以要互相依靠哦。这样一辈子就不会离我们太远了，是不是？哈哈。希望我不再让你难过了。虽然知道还是会吵架。。哈哈。。）

好多“现在才知道”。。。有什么东西是“以前就知道”的？

有有有。。对宝贝你的爱。。从以前就知道了。哈哈。。

我不是个完美的人。可能还是个很糟糕的人。但对你的关心真的没有减少过。
只希望宝贝能活得开心点，健康点。大事看成小事，小事变成没事。只要能这样，不管发生什么事，你都能迎刃而解。也能比较快乐。很想念你。很想抱紧你，告诉你说我真的很想你。真的很爱很爱你。宝贝能听到我的心说话吗？

我爱你。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

After for so long.. finally can write to baobei again...

Don't know how to start actually.. haha.. Is my baobei waiting for long to read my blog or already forgotten about it? haha. Nowadays so busy o. Reports and Tests. hai.. So tiring. But just because i have so many things to do, I found back my mood to study.. (A Bit only) HAHAHA

Last week when back to malacca. There was 2 things to do. 扫墓 and visit popo. Although i have so many reports and tests on the following week but i just can't reject dad because every year i will definitely go back to 扫墓. what a good boy...

As usual, 扫墓 has to be under the sun and also quite tiring. Didn't get to eat the chicken rice ball. haha. Because popo didn't order much. Sad.. Woke up at 6.30am but reached there at 7.30am. Actually is considered late. haha.. First one to pray is my grandpa for sure. Because he is the one who brought up the whole family by his own hand. Everyone in the family respected him alot.. Spend some time there and because i am the eldest grandchildren. Therefore, i became the first one to pray. haha..

After that, i alone went to my sister tomb. I feel very sad when looking at it. Although she died since i 1 year old. haha.. She must be lonely. Maybe no? I don't know. haha. Didn't really "talk" to her much. She was so near to me but also too far for me to hold her. But.. the most sad thing happen is, dad didn't come and visit sis. WHY? Did he forget about her? I don't think so. She is also once dad's baobei daughter. Maybe no one feels anything strange but i really feel sad. I thought more people will come and visit her and talk to her. At least she won't feel lonely. But then... only me and cousin went to see her. If she is still down "there", i think she will feel happy to see me gua.. haha.. rigth sis?

Looking at popo, I more sad.. Although i know that she is already old and fall sick. But i really worry about her. I really hope i can do something for her. But i can't.. Suddenly feel that, life is just like that. Everyone will die soon. No one will escape from it. As long you can see your childrens and your grandchildrens are healthy. I think i won't feel regret in my life.

That's why i will try my best to treasure baobei de.. MUAKZ... haha..

(There's so many thinking in my mind but i really can't express it in the blog so... Baobei, tell you how i feel some other time la. haha)

To be continue.. (only for baobei) haha

Back to KL again..

Hi baobei.. how are you? Hope you are fine there. I really miss you much.. Because of you, i started to like this song too..

吴克群-为你写诗

爱情是一种怪事
我开始全身不受控制
爱情是一种本事
我开始连自己都不是
为你我做了太多的傻事
第一件就是为你写诗

为你写诗
为你静止
为你做不可能的事
为你我学会弹琴写词
为你失去理智
为你写诗
为你静止
为你做不可能的事
为你弹奏所有情歌的句子
我忘了说最美的是你的名字

爱情是一种怪事
你的笑容是唯一宗旨
爱情是一种本事
我在你心里什么位置
为你我做了太多的傻事
第一件就是为你写诗

为你写诗
为你静止
为你做不可能的事
为你我学会弹琴写词
为你失去理智
为你写诗
为你静止
为你做不可能的事
为你弹奏所有情歌的句子
我忘了说最美的是你的名字

为你写诗
为你静止
为你做不可能的事
为你我学会弹琴写词
为你失去理智
为你写诗
为你静止
为你做不可能的事
为你弹奏所有情歌的句子

我忘了说最美的是你的名字
我什么都能忘记
但唯一不忘的是你的名字
我什么都能忘记
但唯一不忘的是你的样子
我什么都能忘记
但唯一不忘的是你的名字
我什么都能忘记
但唯一不忘的是你的样子

Haha. Just feel that some part is like what i think too.. I getting busy le. Baobei also right? Hope you can really take care of yourself lo. You always work so hard. Actually to me is like work for nothing. No matter how hard you work, you still get the same pay. Just worry baobei might fall sick one day if you don't want to rest more.

Baobei's exam coming. Must have confident on it ya. Look at your result. You got an A wor. Means you can do it de. Trust yourself and also trust baobei lao gong ok? haha..

Recently my period come. So.. my mood cannot control also. haha.. Baobei understande de right? haha. Anyway, No matter what happen, what am i doing, my heart is still belongs to baobei de o.. Really.. Might neglected you too but.. Don't worry too much k? i won't let baobei feel sad de.. I want my baobei happy forever.

Yesterday we talked alot. Actually i know that i didn't really let you rely on me. This is because i wish baobei will build her own life when baobei old grandpa not around. IF really one day we broke up, i wish baobei still have her own life, her own friends.. Get what i mean, baobei? But because of what you said, i think i will change abit.. I decided to let you rely more on me. I will always be there for baobei.. But baobei, promise me. Must really learn how to be independent k? At least i won't worry for you that easily also.. MUakz...

I love baobei old grandma o.. Hug x n...........

a boring day... missing my baobei..

baobei a.. today didn't see you.. So sad o. What about baobei? Did you miss me? Hope so. haha.. Don't worry.. I know you did miss me la. Haha.. Hope that i can hug you till sleep. Now, i got to wait till i finish my exam. That will be at end of june. Wah.. still got long time to go.. Baobei must take care of yourself o. Hope our relationship will last till the end.. No more quarrels. haha..

Today went to GH (general hospital) to scaling. So pain.. I still can imagine it.. Blood coming out from my gum. And the malay dentist who is a girl treat me like i am her enemy. But is my teeth clean? I don't know.. Just clean it once awhile. Why are they so rude to me? haha.. I don't understand why those people study so hard to be a dentist. To serve people right? But how come their attitude are so... Ish.. Don't know how to decribe. Or because i am not handsome? no a.. My baobei always say i handsome. haha... But to me, is good to go for scaling.. At least clean the place which lots of bacterias will grow.

Baobei must really take care o. Actually i prefer Baobei don't get that hair cut. haha.. This one looks short.. and looks like you can't do much on it.. Comb? Leave it? all not suitable.. What do you think, baobei? but it's ok la.. cause hair will grow very fast.. Oh no.. i haven't get a hair cut.. Should i cut? baobei give some suggestion la. haha.. MUakz.. I love baobei o..

爱我，非你莫属。

haha.. L*c*.haha.. bler.. take care lo..

突然觉得这首歌很好很好听。。

卓文萱-被你爱过我很快乐

我们肩靠肩的站着
看着不停流动的河
这阵子麻烦你了
被我的爱拉住了
终于你要走了

还是想叫你亲爱的
而自由是你最爱的
回忆不断倒转着
时间却又不停的
彩排我们转过身

被你爱过我真的很快乐
被你爱过我更懂幸福了
你紧紧抱我温柔的我好痛
突然我才懂你不是不爱

我记得一定要好好的
不管遇见了什么人
你在我耳边说着
声音却飞的好远
我也终于勇敢了

被你爱过我真的很快乐
被你爱过我更懂幸福了
你紧紧抱我温柔的我好痛
突然我才懂你不是不爱我

被你爱过我真的很快乐
被你爱过我更懂幸福了
你紧紧抱我温柔的我好痛
突然我懂你没有我更辽阔

被你爱过我真的很快乐
只是成长要经过悲伤的
现在我相信那最深刻的爱
不一定会陪着我们到老的

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

喜欢不代表想要歌词里的意境发生在我们身上，而是希望能让彼此更珍惜对对方的爱。。

宝贝啊。。为了让大家，包括大人们知道，我一定要证明我能够在和你谈恋爱的同时，其他事也能做得好。因为。。。我很想大家认同我们，所以现在，我觉得我不应该再为小事烦恼了，而是应该往前看，为未来做好根基。只要你对我有信心，而且是一直那么的关心我，我就没有理由放慢脚步再钻牛角尖了。只有放下一些对你的占有欲，不再那么小气，给你一定的自由。当然，我也会给你意想不到的，满满的爱。

只有这样，我才能减少你在生活上的负担也让你觉得我这个负担是个很重的负担，重却值得扛，但扛了还是快乐的负担。。

不想去怀疑也不想去多想。做好决定了就不会再回头了。。因为。。。

我理想的未来里有。。

你。。

I want to go back JB to see my mummy, brother and.. BAOBEI..

Every holiday, i will scare to ask my dad one question. " can i go back to JB?" He will definately ask me "why must you go back?" When comes to here, I cannot really answer him.

I am not a coward ya. But.. I really get fed up with it. I just wanna go back. Can't I? Because of my dad, I always try to come back early, try to study hard to show that i can do well in my studies.. but... Maybe he just want to give me some trouble.. But in the end will still let me go back. I don't know. I just hope at least i can see my baobei.. Just to hug you and give you some support. Nowadays everything goes against us. That's why wish to see you.

I will give it a try later. I really hope dad will allows me to go back JB. Just for days. Miss you so much.. Muakz...

To be continue....

白色情人节快乐。。

今天只上一个小时的课。9点就到家了。进了房间发现有个包裹在我的电脑上，猜也想到是宝贝寄来的。里面有一封一年多前写的却未寄的信，几封刚写不久的信和一包巧克力。哈哈。。当看到巧克力时才记得原来今天是白色情人节。。老了就是这样的啦。。哈哈。。

迫不及待的我马上打开包裹。。读了里面的信。。读着读着，越读越感动。发现到很多我不知道的东西。。原来。。我的玲宝贝是那么的想念我的，不管是以前还是现在。说实话，我从来就不知道你是那么想我的。sms说的想念和电话上说的想念没有让我真正感觉到你的心。虽然知道你在那里有时会很寂寞，可是就是不会那么相信你会那么想念我。可能是因为我太过专注于学业吧，所以我的人生好像也有个地方让我靠。自然而然就会觉得，没有你在身边，我也能过得不错。可能是因为这点，我才会觉得没有我在身边的你，也会过得不错吧。。

我好像错了。。（好笨哦）

信，是需要很多时间和精力来写的。没有心的人是不可能花时间写信的。所以从信里，我看得到宝贝的用心与爱心。从信里，我也能深刻感受宝贝当时的心情。。对不起宝贝。。我让你等了那么久的一个称呼--“宝贝老婆”。哈哈。。害羞了。

人生总会遇到很多凹凸不平的路。可是它毕竟只是条路。。只要相信彼此，一起走。。哪有走不完的路啊？走完了不就跌进海里咯。哈哈。。（好冷哦）

我希望宝贝能够开开心心的哦。不管是遇到任何挫折，都要一起面对好吗？在我心里，宝贝就是宝贝。。不会变的。。只要两个人的心是靠在一起的，宝贝永远都是宝贝。

MUUAAKKKKKZZZZZZ..........

Sad day...

Baobei know why i sad? I don't want to say it here.. You knew it right?? Hai... Am i silly? To believe that everything is going smoothly? Should I start to protect myself? You can't stand it. What about me? I am ok with it?

I have to follow what i said to you before that. I will let you do whatever you want. Want to hurt me want to love me.. Up to you.. IF you treasure me, please don't do it again and again.. IF you not going to treasure me, please do it many times. By that time, I will start to close my heart and i swear that you won't reach it anymore.. To me, this is the last chance.. Maybe still hv alot of chances but.. I really treasure it this time. To me, if this time no more means no more le.. I don't want to turn back again.. I really want to give you everything i can now..

Be happy la.. I love you much.. Really..

From 1 day to 2 days, from 3 days to 1 week.. Is my baobei waiting to see me write down something? or you already getting bored? haha.. This week went back to Malacca. Not bad. I slept alot. And the most important thing is.. I was on the tv show " Project Superstar" to support my friend's cousin, Alice. To me, she did sing well that night. Maybe those judges purposely say something bad to them. So sad. I can see myself in tv and also at http://www.8tv.com.my/. haha. Feel so weird. I thought i very handsome one. But now look at it.. wah.. more handsome. haha.. JKJK..

Miss baobei much o. I really hope can just stay beside you and hug you. haha. Although i do not write this blog as frequent as before. But my love to baobei doesn't decrease day by day o.. Is getting more and more.. haha.. Hope baobei can feel it. I really hope that i can see you soon. erm.. When is my holiday??? haha.. Muakz.. Miss you always and hope that when u watch the show, don't so surprise.. ya. i am that handsome. wakakkakaa...

GOod luck to my baobei in her studies and everything.. Stay happy always k? I will always be there for you.. I will try my best to do so. Jiayou lo.. :P Love you always..

人是奇怪的动物。。

世界上真的有好多好多东西哦。

电话啦，电脑啦，日常用品，桌子椅子，梳子，钱包，食物等等等等。。这些东西真的有很多不同款式。你要大的小的，久的新的等等都有。可是对我来说，最多不一样，最多不同的东西应该是。。。

人类。。

有些人失败了很多次才懂得珍惜。
有些人明明就是要无缘无故对你冷淡，就算曾经是很好很好的朋友。
有些人自以为是，什么都觉得自己说的最对。
有些人有权利对任何人发脾气，有些人却不能。
有些人死都不肯说对不起，有些人就算没有做错也还在说对不起。
有些人很爱美，有些人觉得丑也无所谓。
有些人不愿回头，多年的友情也能就这样放下，有些人却傻到认为朋友是一辈子的事。
有些人赞同你说的，有些人不赞同你说的。。就算在他们面前说了同样的话。
有些人宁愿听别人的看法也不愿意听听当事人所说的真正感受。
有些人就是会在你旁边支持你，鼓励你，有些人就是要在你最难过时泼你冷水。
有些人能给于其他人真心的祝福，有些人却因为得不到而说了些让人听了都难过的事。
有些人说到做到，有些人却说到做不到，还变本加厉的做这些“做不到”的事。
有些人愿意为对方着想，不轻易拿别人的弱点来攻击，有些人却每天都在骂人，专拿别人的弱点来攻击对方。
有些人好言相劝，有些人能接受，有些人却死都觉得自己是对的，还拼命反驳。
有些人爱的方式不一样，因人而异。看不到不代表没有，看到了也不一定就有。
有些人把爱放在嘴边，有些人却放在心里。
有些人能轻易地说出永远。有些人却觉得活在当下比较好。
有些人愿意花一辈子的时间来讨她最爱的人的欢心。。
好多好多。。

我，真的不太会珍惜身边的美好事物。有人说我说得很对。我也承认。说我不懂人情世故也好，说我不懂爱也好。我都承认。难道说错了做错了就不能回头吗？现实是这么残酷吗？错。。现实归现实，但，不管再怎么现实，这世界还是有希望的。我们不是也做到了吗？

我和宝贝一样，滥用了老天给的幸福。走了那么多，到最后还是在一起。每走过一些障碍，我们就越珍惜对方。就算旁边有个白痴说了那么多让人心痛的话，我们的心还是靠在一起的不是吗？

"世界千姿百态，人类喜怒无常，好坏参半，看得开，走向前才是王道.."

此刻的我好想宝贝哦。。

Today i am lazy and the weather is so hot..

keep sweating.. shit.. sticky... but lazy to bath. haa.. 1st day in uni, i can feel the pressure from my friend who named saiksu, elaine and keanyung. 3of them are the power student in our engineering.. 1st day of the class, they already started study. What the hell.. I feel so lazy. haha.. It makes me feel like studying now. While typing my blog, actually i also open my student file. haha.. Now only i realise i so kiasu.. ish... Affected by those guys.. Anyway, Study is the main thing to do now.. so.. not consider kiasu la. haha..

Miss my baobei much.. as usual.. haha.. Hope we can watch movie together agin but.. we are so far away from each other. and also hope that you can do well in your assignment lo.. I really wish you can do it. Don't get panic so easily.. you can do it de.. trust yourself and also trust my judgement ok? I love you always. No matter what am i doing, i always love you.. haha. Hope what i say can built your zi xin xing. haha.. muakz.. miss you much

I slept the most today since holiday..

Don't know why today i slept so much. haha.. From 3am to 11.30am. After that from 4pm to 7pm. Maybe to someone else is jus a small case but to me, i haven't been sleeping for this long since holiday started. haha.. What did i do during holiday?? i don't know. Forget already. .

Still miss my baobei very much wor. haha.. See baobei always bear everything down. I really feel sad. What can i do for you? I can only listen to you and give no comment about what you are doing ba.. You have to decide what to do for yourself. But remember to be happy k? If you can't feel happy, I don't think i will be happy too.. Muakz..

I will always be ready to listen to you de.. I love you baobei.. I wish i can give you what you want, what you expect.. HugX2.. take care lo..

In KL now...

So boring.. besides playing game, i can only chat with baobei le. Baobei don't worry ya. I always miss you. hehe.. Classes starting soon.. Very sien.. Miss those days that i can rest at home and do nothing. haha. But i also feel happy that i goin to do something. At least i am not wasting my time. Baobei a.. No matter what i am doing and how i feel, i still miss you badly. Really hope i can study singapore. haa.. So that i can accompany you.. But think deeper, I aslo glad that i study at KL. at least i can spend some time with my dad. haa. agree??

Baobei got to wait few months to see me, should be very lonely right? Hope baobei can still live happily without me. And also wait for me to come back. haha..

Read his blog. Find it funny but also find it touching.. Don't know why.. Baobei feel free also can read his blog. haha.. ( seems bad to read people's blog ) Anyway, i wish everyone beside you can stay healthy and happy always.. And i also wish that everyone in my heart can stay healthy and happy always.. Everyone must add oil ya.. No matter me and you are good friend or not, must always take care lo.

I love baobei. Miss you so much.. Must take care ya. Cause you are the one in my heart.. Muakz..

Time flies...

Later will go back to KL lo. I thought that i won't miss you that much as i already preapred myself to go back to KL. but when i woke up, my heart very sakit lo.. I can't bear to leave you here but.. What can i do? I have to study ma.. So... Let's work hard together lo baobei. Don't let the feeling affect us. Must move forward right?

I love baobei much much.. No one can break this words except me or you.. No third party in. haha. Bler... Muakz.. Must take care lo. I will always miss baobei de.. really... Jiayou lo.. Hope to see you soon again.. really hope so...

last day is not the last day

Blur liao.. Last day not last day. haa. Before that said that it will be the last time for me to meet baobei in this holiday.. but.. haha.. Later we will meet again. haha.. Happy that you will stil wish to come back to look for me even tomorrow you still have to work. Glad that baobei love me that much. I really appreciate it..

So sad that i am going back.. But if i don't go back, what can i do?haa.. Work hard for our future lo baobei.. Hope tonight will be a very nice night. Happy night. haha.. I love you baobei. Thanks for everything. Really...

Must always be careful ya.. i will worry you alot. Jiayou.. see you tonight..

Back from Singapore...

So tired.. I go there come back go there come back.. so many times this week.. haha..

Hope baobei is fine lo.. I know you will feel very sad about what had happen but.. life stil has to goes on right?

"世界千姿百态，人类喜怒无常，好坏参半，看得开，走向前才是王道.."

you say you like these sentence which written by me. haha. I feel so proud lo.. haha..

Today is the last day to meet you le. I mean in my this holiday.. I felt quite sad lo. Hai.. How much i wish i can stand beside baobei, hug you tight tight and kiss you gentlely. haha.. But.. I really got to go back to study le. Must prepare for the future right? Muakz.. I really love baobei o. Hope baobei can really feel it..

Must take care of yourself o. Move forward ya.. I will be there waiting for you..

Going back to KL on friday (22th feb)

3 and half months has gone. I going back to KL to continue my "journey". I don't like it. I wish I can stay for another few more days to accompany my baobei o...But.. school is reopening. I have to go back.

Will my baobei miss me alot? i think yes ba. I saw you cry this morning. It makes me feel like crying too. I really don't wish to leave baobei alone here.. especially these days.. Bad things happen.. How can i let my baobei face it alone? But baobei, must be brave ya. I know you can overcome it de.. I will give all my support to baobei de k?

Tomorrow wil go sg again. Just to see you.. Hope we will have a sweet lunch tomorrow la. haha... I love baobei.. ALWAYS... hugxn..........

16th day.. I am the most happiness guy in the world...

HAHA.. quite weird to say myself that i am the most happiness man in the world. haha.. What i want has come true and i will never leave baobei anymore.. Trust me k? Both of us muz really work hard this time. No matter what happen to each other, we will never give up k? Muakz..

No more counting days lo. Today is the last day, but i will try to update this blog everyday. So that baobei can knows wat are your baobei doing. haha.. I really miss u alot.. Hai.. going back KL le.. I know baobei will miss me. Everything has to start over again. Baobei has to overcome every single stage yourself. I really hope i can stand beside you and give you anything you want. But..

Baobei muz always take care ya. I really love you, baobei.. Must not leave me ya.. Let time prove that my love to you is real la.. muakz.. see you later.. i love you...

14th day.. Am i dreaming???

Am i dreaming? or...??? I hope no.. I hope all these are real...

From now onwards, my heart really goes to you le. I don't want it back anymore. I want to give it to you as your present. I want you to keep it very nicely and sayang it. haha. I don't want to give you too many promises.. I will show that what i have said to baobei will come true in front of you.. I will try my best not to disappoint baobei le. can't bear to do so......

( TOO excited le, i can't describe everything in my heart.. Let me cool down 1st....HAHA )

13th day.. ???

As i mentioned, today is a very happy day. Very sweet. Love this feeling very much. Hope time can stop at that time, at that moment. But reality is.. things pass very soon. Fetch you back to work and leave that place with a sad face. Wonder will baobei mis baobei. and the answer is.. yea.. Baobei did mis baobei too. Very touch..haha

Once left that place, really feel that i miss baobei alot. And i start to imagining what will happen when i go back to study.. Will our relationship maintain the same? or something will change? ( think too much. HAHAHAHAHA )

Can i really let baobei go? I know i can't force someone to love me and commit their love to me but.. can i really let my baobei go?

I want to TEST my love to her.
I want to make sure that i can really love her as much as what i haven't do to her before. I want to make sure that my love to her is true. I wan to make sure that her happiness is the most important than everything.

From 1st day to 13th day.. My heart doesn't really change. It's kind of weird. I can let go if i want to but i realise that, my love to baobei doesn't really change at all. Can baobei feel so?

I love you baobei.. ALWAYS... hope you feel sweet too when u are with me anytime anywhere. Muakz..

13th day.. Happy day

yesterday night had a sweet valentine's day. Really.. Very happy for everything baobei did to me. Although abit not creative la. But i like that shirt very much. It's enough for me. We did so many things. haha.. BAI TIAN GONG. Smoky. haha.. but not bad la.. the egg. haha.. can pray for baobei also.

Today early morning woke up. So tired. But to see you more, I didn't really sleep. On the bus, sing song to you.. But i think you was sleeping. haha.. Although it's tiring but i really glad that i can do so for baobei.. I treasure the moment now. Can follow baobei back, can celebrate valentine's day together, can accompany baobei to do many things and etc...

I wont let go baobei that easily this time.. Trust me k? I love you.. with my small and cute cute heart. haha

12th day.. I love this song...

歌手：周杰伦
歌曲：彩虹

哪里有彩虹告诉我
能不能把我的愿望还给我
为什么天这么安静
所有云都跑到我这里
有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药
看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走
你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

12th day.. Happy Valentine's day to my dearest baobei..

Happy valentine's day to baobei o. Very happy that i still get to see you on today. Wish to see you soon. Getting excited already. how? haa.. nervous to see you too. why? i don't know too. haha.

All i want is baobei can be happy forever. No worries in everything. Everything that you do will be very smooth. But of cz, in reality, bad things will stil happen. Just to let you know that, I will always be there for you. As long as i can see ur sms, i can listen to hp ring, you will always get me immediately.. (don't cal me when i having exam k?)

There's more feelings in my heart, and it cannot be describe by words. I hope i can let baobei feel it all. last time i can't let you feel it that how much i love you. This time, I will let baobei feel it immediately. I won't let baobei feel unsecure anymore.. Trust me k? Let time tells you the real me..

Muakz.. I love you, baobei.. ALWAYS.... once again.. HAPPY VALENTINE"S DAY....

11th day.. Surprised

Today was surprised by baobei. Something like roller coaster. haha..

At 1st, you said let everything shun qi zi ran again. I feel sad. And start to think alot. you said nope nope nope. haha. remember? Actually i just want to see you. Not to plan perfectly but see what can we do if i really go sg meet u. But.. it's quite sad when i feel that you don't really mis me that much as i do. Am i starting to guess again? haha.. don't care..

But after that, you asked me to go sg and asked me whether i mind to play 3p. I was so happy. At least you wanted to see me? Am i starting to guess again? haha..

Tomorrow is valentine's day. Wanted to buy you a present but.. i cant find a suitable one. Everything is the same everywhere. So boring lo. Hope i can get a nice and special gift to you before look for you. But it seems to be abit late. hai.. If i say i treat you eat whatever you want, will you accept? haha... Hope so..

I am here to tell you that, I love baobei.. Very very very much.. No matter what happen between you and me, i will always be there for you. You are not my everything but you are the one that i can't loss. I will never give up. Trust me k? Muakz.. once again..

I LOVE YOU, BAOBEI...

11th day.. Missing you...

Morning baobei, Don't worry about me ya. I am fine. Hope you are not worrying me lo.

Can't really slp well. 3am sleep but then 6.30am woke up. So tired. What about baobei? did u sleep well. I was so worry about you yesterday. TH say i no mood to play. coz msg you while playing. haha.. I haven't been like these wor. Why a? haha.. Normally i won't care right?I really changed. haha..Baobei can feel that i am worrying you? hope so.. really miss you. Hope to see you tomorrow ya. haha.

Baobei must always be happy k? No matter what happen, you must know how to overcome it ya. i love u always.. always..

11th day..Conclusion for yesterday

Lousy day.. What the hell? Did i step your tail? I really hope i can also protect my mummy.. but i dunno things will go these far. What should i do? Communication is the best way for human being to interact to each other.. But some people doesn't know how to interact with others. What should i do?

And. one more thing.. Who the hell are you? why must you let my baobei feel sad? You did promised me that you wont let her sad. You promised me you will take care of her as a friend. How can you do that to her? I am such a stupid to believe what you promised me. Hai...

Baobei, maybe things doesn't go these serious but please, promise me. Find a best way to solve it k? i don't wan my baobei to feel sad again and again. whenever u sad, my heart feels pain. I really hope i can be there to take care and listen to you. But now, you have to settle it yourself. Hai..

What can i do for those i loved ??? ( thinking........................ )

10th day.. Morning baobei

Today, you went back to work le. My heart aches when i just woke up.. What happen? i think is because... I miss you alot. Still feel happy about what happen yesterday. We went to watch movie. like couple.haha

I start to worry you alot. worry that you might not overcome the stresses coming to you. worry that you have no one to talk to. worry that when you need someone urgently, no one is there. worry that you didn't eat ur food regularly. worry that you will skip ur lunch or dinner.

I start to understand how to love someone. I changed really fast right? and everyone is blaming me. BUT.. who cares? i might done something wrong before that but.. it doesn't mean that i am going to do the same thing again this time. I learned alot from you. You are my old teacher. wakakakka

Since you already promise me you will take care of yourself, then i think i won't kacau you lo. I know baobei can do well alone. Because you used to be like that right? Now, got a baobei here loves you so much.. Shouldn't worry you also.. Please tell me if you feel sad or angry k? find someone to talk to ya. muakz..

I love baobei.. U're the only love, forever..

10th day. excited...

Today is a very happy day. we went out to watch movie o. watch kung fu guan lan. Quite lame actually and only some parts are nice. But after movie, we went back to our own house. haha.. it is quite weird actually.. we came from so far just to watch the movie.

After my dinner, i went to her house again. Brought her parents to have dinner at somewhere there. haha.. everything seems fine. Is like too perfect to me. haha.

After that, we chat again. talked about other many stuffs.. but this time, i didn't really ask her about it. And it really feels comfortable. Actually, i am glad that i can make her happy again.. See her smile is like... (cant describe)

Today she laugh alot. to cover her sadness? or..? not sure.. but i am sure that , she is happy today. no more tears, no more serious. just having fun. POWER.. This is what i wanted long time ago.. happy and free relationship.

baobei.. i love u. I will be there for you when u need someone to accompany you k? muakz.. just can't stop worrying you because, i don't want to see my baobei feels sad for small small matter.. Everything will be fine very soon.. Take care of yourself ya. Muakz.. love you and miss you always

( i nearly speechless because, i can't really describe how excited and happy i am.. )

9th day.. a bad morning

The 1st time i woke up, i on my laptop. Online, i saw jy. He told me that i didn't treasure you. Is that really so? means.. i am a very lousy bf? am i? feel so sad. What i did for baobei, baobei can't see? it's ok to get comment from them. because i know what i want now. i will go for it and will get you back de..

Baobei, u never leave my heart before even when we were together. My heart always do something and considering our future. I love you alot.. No one knows cause i didn't show to anyone i love you. Everytime people ask me about you, i will always say "no la.. not very very love", " mis her abit only la.. study more important". but now, i realised that when i said so, my heart stil loves you. And no one will believe me even my good friends.. what a failure..

my heart will tells everyone everything. I love you.. baobei...

9th day.. 2.17am. happy and sad mixed.

Today, i considered spend my whole day with her o.. Surprise.. I was so excited. And this time, I really didn't ask her any "that" question. It feels so comfortable. I really feel so. haha.. After mum came back from malacca, i drove to her house to see her. coz.. i miss her alot. haha..

After i reached, i ended up playing mahjong with her family immediately. But jus after some time, she walked into her room and talked on the hp. After that i realised that her face turn down. I was so worry about her. I scare that anything will happen to her. Therefore, i asked her who called. She told me is "him". i asked her what happen but she didn't really want to tell me as she wants to keep this privacy. So, the thing i can do by the time is..

let her be..

After having dinner with her, she told me she did sms "him" again and this time, she cried. What the hell is going on? I was very very very angry but my heart also feels very very very pain.. How can i bear to see my baobei cry infront of me.

Just to let u, baobei know.. I will never let you cry again le.. Do u know how pain my heart is when u cry? It is more painful than you decided to break up with me. Even after that you looks fine, but my heart still continue aching. so pain..

To make things right, i won't scold him.. I don't wish to create problem to 3 of us. I can only try to make you happy and i think.. you are happy after chatting with me right? hope so.. be happy k? everything will be fine.. although i don't really know what is happening but... i will always be there for you.. i can lend u my shoulder as my shoulder is wider, agree? haha.. take care ya. love you always o, baobei..

8th day.. Back from her house..

After rushing back to JB from malacca, i cant sleep at all. In the end, i carry my panda look, go to friends house to bai nian. Baobei was there too. We ended up go to baobei's house, ya huey's house, hock meng's house, pei li's house and julian's house. I was so happy to see her. She is like my sun, birghten me up.

After going to so many friends house, i ended up staying at her house. It seems like i am doing the same wrong thing again. haha..

Since we were hungry, we walked to opposite shop to eat nasi "tak payah". quite nice.. full with eggs. haha. On the way walking to the shop, i holded her hand to cross the road.. I was shock that she didn't really avoid it. Did she wants to want me back? or.. is jus my illusion? I was so happy too but also telling myself not to feel TOO happy about it because she didn't talk about it at all.

I tried to ask at a suitable time and this time... again.. I was sad.. She still giving me the same answer.. Trying to talk to her but also realise that, she really needs some time to give me the answer i want. Definitely, i was sad and i cried in front of her. because what i think is.. i am the one who can't do things right. I neglected my parents, my friends. and now... i goin to loss her.. What a failure. haha..

Now, i dunno i can really wait for her or not.. I can only let it be.. Set her free. And let her think about it herself. I am happy with all my friends. They really accompany me just because they know that i miss her and wish to see my baobei. I feel very xin fu.. At least i got friends. really guys.. i gotta miss u all much.

No matter what happen and what decision u do, baobei, i still love u as before.. Haven been changing since the day i started to love u. muakz..

7th day.. 4.13am. i cant sleep..

Don't know why today can't sleep. haha.. usually at this time (midnight), the one i miss most is baobei le.. After playing gg, the 1st person to sms or miss call is baobei.. But.. i don't have the right to do so now..

hehe.. don't worry..i'm not depress now.. not sad.. not desperate.. just feel that.. i really wish my baobei bcome my baobei again.. miss u SO much. hope i can hug u now. If.. If today you are my "official" baobei, i should be hugging u till sleep ba??? really hope can hug baobei, is like a guy gives a girl a warm warm hug. Full of loves.. Did anyone can imagine that? haha.. should be very very very xin fu.. i hope i can give baobei this kind of life.. i will be the one to take care of you..

suddenly feel so.. without you around me, i am not really me now. later i will see you right? very very wish to hug u. and shout out to others, i love baobei. No one can grab her away from me.. haha.. dreaming.. but i know this dream will come true one day, right baobei? hope so.. see you later lo.. panda is coming to look for you soon lo. haha..muakz.. hope now you are sleeping tightly. I love baobei lo..

7th day.. back to JB.

I reached JB at 11pm. Did trouble my cousin to fetch me back just bcoz of u. I really miss u so much.. and.. i really worry for you when you say u very "emo". That's why i can't control myself and insist to come back at 2nd day of cny.

But.. i didn't tell you that i am coming back today.. this is because i wish to give u a surprise. haha.. Maybe there's no surprise for you at all when you see me. But i really wish to see you as i am worrying you..

During cny, i miss you alot.. Negative thinking keep coming into my mind. It makes me so unhappy. My face black whole day. I think everyone did notice that. especially my papa. He didn't ask anything. even my green hair. He is the only one who didn't give any comment on it.

During cny, i called you many times. sms you many times. I am glad that i still able to do something for you. And i think you felt touched about it, right? I hope i didn't over do those "stupid" stuff. haha..

After i top up, i did call you, remember? That time we really talked alot of stuff.. And i realised that, you really did care for me. BUT.. something stops you from doing that. What is that? I don't know. Waiting for me to discover it. haha..

Wish to see you today lo. I really wish you have a very happy chinese new year. Let's leave it naturally la.. I will slowly show my patient and also my sincerity. Take care lo, my baobei.. Love u always ya...

4th day.. 3am, goin back to malacca

Today i went to cs to fetch u. Almost hug u when looked at u. haha.. and.. i am very happy that u felt touched when i walked to custom to pick u up.. i realised that i was such a stupid fellow who doesn't care for u much. Did u angry abt it before that? i think so.. How can i just leave u there? hai.. i am such a failure.. Cant do things right.. but today, by looking at ur happy and fat face,

i promise to u now..

i will always pick u up from malaysia custom if i am there. I start to worry u.. Every weekend has to walk thru those dark dark places.hai.. So baobei, u muz always be careful when u walk there k? I at KL.. cant do anything for u.. so baobei muz take care of urself o. PROMISE?

On the car, we talked alot. It makes me feel better.. i wish we can still talk to each other frankly. No secrets. and this will help us to understand each other more. haha.. love u always baobei. I will miss u alot alot during cny. U r my sun. U brighten me, make me alive. really... muakz..

c u during cny la.. take care lo.. hugX2.

3rd day.. early morning

Morning my dear... Now, i used to cal u every morning.. Just to make sure u reach there safely and also wish to hear ur voice. I dunno wat am i doin now. Am i doin the right choice? She seems to b very bz.. haha.. goin to late to work lo..

My heart stil feels pain. Pain till wanna cry but.. i cant cry d. am i trying to protect myself again? nth else stays in my world.. only her. how can she bear to let it go? i dunno.. my mind cant stop thinking. alot alot alot of possibility came thru my mind.. wat shud i suppose to do? let it b? or..? protect myself? dun care for her? NONONONO.. i cant. i want to be the guy who loves her with all my heart.. It seems like i am forcing myself to love her?? haha.. definitely no.. i will prove it.. i love u.. with all my heart.. hv a nice day lo baobei.. muakz.. mis u much..

3rd day.. midnight 2am

After having a good talk with u, i feel abit sad.. bcoz i realise that u actually dun wan to get back.. but i also feel happy that, u stil believe that i can make it. altho my feeling gets down.. but i feel that i am getting stronger. which means that i really think that i can overcome every single block to get u back to my side.

We talked alot and i know that u are at my situation too.. u are trying to protect urself, dun allow anyone to hurt u again.. it makes u wont fall in love easily again..

Now.. i wish be the one to make u trust love again. i belive i can do it.. i love u baobei... i want u to know that i stil love u.. i want u to hv confidence in me.. i want u to love me in the end of our life. let the time prove it to u..

2nd day part 3.. new tot

tonight goin to play basketbal and will meet up my ex classmates who can really comfort me. i really wish i can really let this settle and move forward.. i wan to let u c the brand new guy who loves u from the bottom of his heart. and i want to love a brand new u plus old old u. haha.. i dun wan to stress u and dun wan to ask anything d.. i wil try my best to do so.. jus wan to let u stay happily..

I think.. let u go and dun ask anything will helps me in the future to get u back. haha.. jus simply tot so. hehe.. muakz..

u're my only love, forever

2nd day part 2.. friends..

After calling her, i realise that my hp credit finished so fast. haha.. half day used up RM10. Ful day Rm20. 1month RM600.. power. haha.

I went to perling mall. Look for small black. We talked alot.. I share my feelings and he did that too. Kind of weird. Everyone has a different view abt the things happen to us. It usually will affect my view too but this time.. i tin i really settle down.. and know wat i wan to be.. ( a guy who can really take care of her)

I will try my best to let u feel it. i will never let u go.. hope we can do it this time in a right time.

And.. u said u headache.. bcoz of the invoice stuff.. i was so worry that i wan to go sg look for u d. my heart very pain when know that u headache. wish to like make sth for u to eat.. haha.. i muz learn this.. so can cook for u.. i will do anything for u to make u happy.. I really wish i can do it. muakz. muz take care ya, my baobei..

to be continue.....

2nd day.. morning breeze is fresh and nice but the heart is down..

Morning.. I cant slp well. Dunno wat happen to me. I always tot that i can really forget the sadness and move forward but i cant.. altho i am very sure i will come back for u.. but.. there's sth makes me feel so unsecure. is it bcoz i am leaving u? or..? i wish to c u now. really wish to c u now.. wish to hug u and tel u how much i love u, how much i care for u. But everything will not change from now onwards.. u wil live by urself. and me? i hv to force myself to stay calm and try to b happy infront of ppl.

Mummy actually stil think that we will get back one day.. jus the matter of time. She says she wants us to calm down when this things happen. She knows that i love u alot.. She knows alot alot.. She wants me to look forward and think positively. I feel touch.. It makes me feel that, i really will come back for u.. my feeling gets stronger and stronger. i will never give up..

JUST for u, my dearest baobei.....

1st day's feeling.. very strong

My love to you in a different way starts today. Today, i keep saying sorry.. altho we broke up, but.. i still get to hold u, hug u.. i really feel happy but also feel sorry.. i cant jus let u go.. i cried alot.. whenever i think of the coming days without you. But, i also hv a strong feeling that, i will love u til the end of my life.. really feel so..

I decided to give ourselves some space.. rethink wat should we do. I promise to give u time and will come back for u in mayb 1 year, 2 years or after i graduate. I promise. i will never leave u anymore.. this is my words... only if.. if. u find someone better than me..