what a day??

What should i say? I love you that's why i asked you. Can't you feel it? I want to go. Can't you feel it? Who are you to stop me for going there? You have your own freedom so do i. I allowed you to go out with your friend for whole day. Why can't you let me go out for just 2 hours?

I know you feel down. That's why i say you can always call me if you want to. Did you call? No.. i was the one keep calling until i gave up as no one answer the phone. Only when you called me. I tried to talk to you. Did you talk? I ask you to talk and you said " i have nothing to say" What the hell. Since you have nothing to say. Of course hang up the phone la. What you expect me to do? I gave you time to talk. did i?

You went out whole day. I didn't get ur sms for that moment that i need you. until i slept. Did you sms? And did i blame you? NO.. Because i know you and your friend were outside. Is like gathering. Do you think as a boy friend, i should stop you for seeing them? NO. Because you are my girl friend. I can't control you as you will definitely feel sad if i say NO to you. Furthermore, you seldom see them. That's why i have no right. NO right to say NO to you. Same as my situation, did you know that i have not go out with Foo at least 1 month? AT LEAST. And we just wish to go out just for that 2hours.

I didn't sms you, is my fault. But every time you didn't sms me back. Did i angry with you? I really don't understand. Why every time same thing happens but in the end you are the one angry with me. And me? I really can't bear to angry with you.. I will always tell myself that you have your own things to do. You are busy working. You are studying. BUT Why can't you give yourself some reasons? Even if you really busy and really can't talk to me, did i really blame you? You will definitely say that because your work is important. That's why i have no right to blame you. What about my time? means when i go cc or play game, my time is not important is it? I am trying my best to sms you although i was playing game, can't you see? and i always thought that you will understand that guys are always like that. Even i didn't sms you on the spot, but after game, i will sure sms you. Not enough?

I love you that's why i don't wish to give too much complain about that. I know once i complain, you will feel stress and maybe not happy. Please... Please think for me can? I have so many problems. My studies and also my family.. I told you i will try my best to be a good boy friend. And i really wish to be with you forever. But i really need some freedom. I really need to spend sometime on myself.. I already used up most of my time in my studies. I really wish i can relax myself. I wish to find back the happiness i lost long time ago. Maybe i can't find back anymore as when i grown up, problems will always come to me. But i really wish that sometimes i can be a small kid. Do whatever i want. Go out with all my friends. And also accompany you for the entire life. This is also what i wish you can do it. I know.. The time for you to accompany me is very little. I know you always say that it won't be enough eventhough is forever.

I don't know what should i say already. It really depends on how you think, baobei. If you think that by saying all those words that can hurt me will let feel better. Just say it to me. I will try to accept it. But when that time i accept everything, i won't be me anymore..

I say all these just to want you to think it deeply. When the same thing happened on me happen to you, how will you feel? will you still feel ok that you won't see your girl's friend anymore? If you really fine with it then i will try to stop myself by going to cc even though i feel that i am free or wish to release my stress. IF you don't want me to go out with who, just tell me. I will try my best not to go out with them. Is it fine with you?

Take care baobei.. If one day you really feel that i am not the one you can really love, please let me go. I don't want you to feel suffer when you are with me. i want a happy baobei that can always be happy and smile. Won't get angry with small matters as in my ideal life, I don't want to see baobei angry. That's why you seldom see me angry..

That' all for today. I am tired. I still have alot to write but.. i prefer to chat with you. I love you.. Chat with you some other time la..